the power in patience.
If you are reading this, I hope you’ve been along for the entire ride-if not, I highly recommend going back to the beginning of my ‘renewed Christian Journey,’ and reading Faith Move. After my last entry Still Szn, a lot has changed, yet everything has remained the same. As with any season, this season I’m in has been filled with highs and lows, grief and joy, losses and gains. All of a sudden it’s starting to make just a little sense-#GodIGetIt. I’ve always been super transparent with you guys, so this entry will be no different.
When I reflect over these last few months, one thing is for certain, change is constant! My faith has been tested in a similar way to when I first moved to Texas (Faith Move), and I find myself in a position where nothing makes sense, but to trust God. I often refer to these seasons as being uncomfortable, but I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve learned to make myself comfortable in His arms, and wait on a word from Him. I’ve just been praising Him in the hallway, ya know? Literally waiting in expectation for the next door to open. But not so patiently waiting, more like anxiously waiting and wondering why it’s taking so long.
As frustrating as it may be to be still and wait on something from God, this time is to be valued. A great time for reflection. A great time to be reminded of what He’s done in previous seasons and what He is more than capable of in this season. Equally important, it’s a time to become prepared for what’s to come. There’s power in patience and the patient period is a period of preparation. He’s preparing me to be a successful entrepreneur, He’s preparing me to be a wife and a mother. In turn He’s teaching me how to manage finances and prioritize time for spiritual intimacy. He’s preparing me to be submissive and to pray over my household. It’s only when I step back and change the perspective, that I am able to see the importance of everything I am learning in this season-
Let me make it a little more practical. I purchased a product from Amazon the other day that came with standard free shipping. At checkout they offered expedited next-day shipping, but for an additional fee. Because I was so anxious to receive my order, the standard 3-5 day shipping just wasn’t enough. I paid the fee to get the item the next day. What would’ve been free had I waited, cost me because I lacked patience. I wanted to skip the waiting period and ended up with a defective product. #GodIGetIt
Instead of trusting that all things will work together in His divine timing, we bog ourselves down worrying about what’s next. The anxiety I so often find myself at war with is built on the thought of outcomes I can’t control, because control is something we don’t have. In the words of the Sza’s poetic mother (Ctrl 2017), “control is an illusion.” We start to question why we haven’t moved on to the next level, or we overexert ourselves (grind harder) to achieve what is destine for us already. In life, when we rush experiences we usually pay by failing or falling short. It’s not the way we envisioned it. The fulfillment doesn’t come from the one thing we were so sure we wanted. Had we just waited on God to begin with, things would’ve worked out the way there were meant to. This all stems back to trusting His timing for our lives. Believing that He will be faithful to His promises and that He hears our prayers. Instead of seeing this season as uncomfortable or dreadful, I choose to change the narrative. My current season is all about being sure I’m ready to be who He’s already said I am. A season of development for my character, my faith, and my strength.
I can see now that my prayers for patience were being answered with tests. Isolation, alone time, still moments, waiting seasons- all God’s way of asking for intimacy, time with Him. And it’s in those times that He is best able to speak to and through us. It’s in those times that we should focus our eyes on becoming grounded in Him, strengthening relationship with Him, and discovering a form of intimacy with Him that keeps us connected. It’s important to develop an appreciation for those seasons! More importantly, we should use this time to ask ourselves if we are prepared for whatever it is that we are asking for from God. He’s preparing me for abundance in all areas, so it’s important for me to be grateful for my now. Here’s to the days where I’m free to do nothing more than stand in my living room and cry out to Him with thanks. Not always needing to be busy. That’s when you really realize His goodness! Imagine quitting a full-time, salary job, with benefits, and paid summers off, without solidifying your next move? Now imagine not even a month later, being presented with opportunities that would double that salary. Now imagine me not knowing the importance of tithing, and how to steward the type of increase I was now expecting. Imagine me not going through a season where I fell so deeply in love with God, that no increase in salary could pull me from Him! A place where it was routine to spend time with Him and consult with Him throughout the day. A place where I go to Him with everything, because without Him, it all falls apart anyway.
And that’s when it all started to make sense; I could now be grateful for the waiting period. For the first time in a long time, things were going so good, I couldn't bring myself to worry about what was to come. All I knew in that moment was that just like always, everything would definitely be ok. I could no longer allow myself to be anxious about the future. God had proven so faithful in that moment, that I was able to rest calmly in His faithfulness. And I can’t help but think that this is the best resting place, the place where God wants us to always find comfort. Exodus 14:14 says, “The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be still.” Be still, be expectant, and be ready for God to move.
I am excited and expectant of blessings and abundance, I have endless opportunities flowing to me, and I know that each opportunity will be God-given-His timing, His will, His way.
-kNicole
p.s.; I added two gems to the Worship Room! Go spend some time in there!
